11
The Facebook Breakup Notifier
Do you like someone who's in a relationship and who feels the need to announce that relationship on Facebook (because they're a little stupid, but it's OK)? And every so often do you go to their profile and think, "Still! Still they are in this relationship, but hopefully next time I check back they will be single"? There's now a tool for you, you jerk, that lets you monitor those people's relationships without the manual Facebook-checking that takes up so much of your time. It's like if the pair of binoculars you use to stare into the window across the way came with a motion detector and made a little beep when a person came into view.
14 of your friends are monitoring your relationship.
Excellent! Facebook continues to makes it easier and easier for me to stalk people. And the people who post every single detail of their entire lives makes it pretty easy, too. Like the girl who posts her exact location whenever it changes. I'm at home – 1234 Ding Dong Lane! I'm at the gym – 24 Hour Fitness in the Safeway shopping center! Taking the kids to daycare – Little Ding Dongs Playplace! Love her.
Thank god I'm not the only one who finds it weird that people would want to wear a sign on the internet that says "I'M DATING SO-AND-SO".
me too – though I have to say, I am in the first really serious relationship since the era of facebook ubiquity, and I feel a mite dishonest! though to be clear, it does not say "single," so it's more like omission than misleading.
This could easily backfire… what if an ex went from "in a relationship" to "engaged"? Major meltdown.
I signed up to use this immediately because, clearly, I hate myself.
But, if you like them THAT MUCH, shouldn't you be watching their page every day anyway?? I mean, if you are gonna stalk, this is like lazy man's stalking tool.
Goddamn kids today with their lazy stalking. In my day, we had to actually drive past someone's house! Or at least call and then hang up!
In defense of people who put their relationship status on facebook, I find where it really earns its keep is in avoiding awkward "where's your boyfriend who you love?!?" "uh about that…" type conversations with medium-level friends and acquaintances after a breakup, because shit is all over their newsfeed as soon as it happens.
But it also prompts all the medium-level friends and acquaintances to comment on your wall with "What happened?!" and "Want a shoulder to cry on?" and/or like it.
I had a friend go from "in a relationship with _______" to "its complicated" and had the obligatory "What happened" and "aaaah why?!" as you said kystilla, except she took it ONE STEP FURTHER INTO ONLINE OVERSHARE and made a post like this:
"Hi everyone, yes me and ____ have been having some difficulties lately, we are trying to work it out, thankyou for all your support"
W.T.F.