Jessica: OK I meant to pee on my ex-boyfriend's car, but I was smart enough to be like, "It's going to be really embarrassing if he catches me squatting on his hood," so my roommates and I peed in Dunkin Donuts coffee cups and empty Ben & Jerry's containers and brought them over to his house to dump on his car.
Edith: Oh my god.
Jessica: But then his car wasn't there!!!!!!!!!
So we just left them on his porch.
Jessica Grose is an associate editor at Slate.