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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

17

Strange Perfume Ads From Yesteryear

As a lover and reviewer of vintage perfumes, I can’t name many that I think smell too dated for the modern gal. Perfume ads, however, don’t always age as well. Here are a few of my favorites.

Pedo Bear: Origins. (1950s)

How do you massage with cologne? (1960s.)

“Antaeus created by Chanel to attend to the needs of modern man.” Antaeus: for the guy who can afford to jerk off with something classier than Jergen’s. (1980s?)

It takes skill to include the pissed off woman who's reading your ad… in the ad. (1965)

Negging: it existed in the '60s! (1965)

Nacho cheese sauce usually does the trick for me. (1956)

What is it with pedos and bears? (1980s)

But what if I’m a big eater who is afraid of getting my hair wet in the rain and does crossword puzzles in blood gathered from furtive cutting sessions alone in my closet? Will you still love me, Bill? Bill...?! Come back, Bill!!!! (1980s)

Barbara Herman is a Berkeley-based writer who'd rather be back in New Orleans. You can find her in select cafes huffing perfume and working on a book about gender and 20th century perfumes. Her vintage perfume reviews can be read at Yesterday's Perfume.

17 Comments / Post A Comment

applestoapples

A woman who "jogs and tells"? Huh?
"I went for a two-mile run yesterday in the park. God, I feel so scandalous."

mynamebackwards

ooh! I wonder if this refers to those really annoying people who CONSTANTLY like to reference how they were at the gym. you can bring up any topic and he/she will say "I was thinking about that at the gym yesterday" or "i saw that in a magazine I was reading on the treadmill at the gym yesterday." OH REALLY? how about just saying that you saw it in a magazine?

julie lauren

haha these are also the same people who like to be all, "oh man i'm so annoyed, all my clothes are WAY TOO BIG and i have no money to buy more!"

T-riffic

What does it mean to "jog and tell"?

Edited to say: Ha! Someone beat me to it. I'm glad I'm not the only one hung up on that.

Kneetoe

"YOU MELTED MY POLAR BEAR
YOU MELTED MY POLAR BEAR"

gimlet

WHAT THE FUCK IS SO WRONG WITH WHITE WINE. I am genuinely irritated about this.

ejcsanfran

Wine was still under apartheid rule in the '80s.

theinvisiblecunt

Not gonna be buying perfume from some cunt who's too good for white wine, f u bro

martinipie

oh my god to your name and icon. yessssss times 80000!

nancydrew

Ah, the Lorelei Gilmore fantasy woman. Be a big fucking eater but look like this ravishing model. Oh, and you don't mind if I blow cigarette smoke in your face, do you?

chevre4evre

And never jogs and tells! Because god forbid that skinny models and/or Lorelei Gilmores admit to excercising to counteract the eating.

magnificentjane

Finally, a perfume that let's guys tell which of us were interesting to begin with.

Brie Mazurek

Bill, maybe you should just find yourself a dude who loves clothes and can cuss in five languages.

flippeh

that beard. i can't unsee it.

thundacunt_1

he looks like Sadaam Hussein coming out of the hole...i think i see dorito crumbs in it!

City_Dater

He's "half man, half beast, all male"! Or, the lead singer in some horrible band whose members all live together in Greenpoint.

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