Thursday, February 10, 2011


Saluting the Catalog Models Who Want to Kill You

Happy Fashion Week! Runway models aren't the only ones who can do crazy.

Blair Koenig is a Brooklyn-based writer who regularly practices her smize.

23 Comments / Post A Comment


#1 is so hungry SHE ATE #3's HANDS!


I don't know what I did to bitch #3 in the leather jacket, but I'M SORRY and PLEASE DON'T KILL ME IN MY SLEEP.


Shit, if I were wearing most of that stuff, I'd wanna kill whoever put me in it, too. (And especially whoever safety pinned the waistband of my hideous gray pants so they wouldn't fall off my hips.)

But I also feel like the one in the grey sweater vest would kill me in a really fun, playful way. And I like that.


I don't think sweater girl wants to kill us. But she definitely finds us amusing.


Also, khaki jumpsuit doesn't wanna kill you, she just needs you to hurry up and tell her what's wrong with your truck's suspension so she can get you back out on the road.


Blue satin jacket's knees are photoshopped to hell and back.


Whoa! I just noticed that. And that is freaky.


I know! They're liiiiiike knees, only blurry.


#14 isn't really out for anyone's blood; she's just about to cry some angry bitter tears because Prince HATED her backup dancer audition and she totally caught Wendy and Lisa laughing at her.


Similarly, #10 doesn't want to kill anyone, she's miffed because the accounting firm recruiter HATED her CV and she totally caught the receptionist laughing at her dress beads.


Two words: Adriana Lima


Have you seen her teeth? I don't want her to smile at me.


The jumpsuit girl is going to chew her way out of jail, goodness that jaw!


Smiley model knows something you don't, which is that she just put your cat in the washing machine on permanent press cycle.


Fine by me. That fuzzy little asshole jumped on my bed, with his litter-poo paws.


Yes, but she put it in there with your favorite silk dress, which is dry-clean only.

Hot mayonnaise

I prefer to think that that they are sex addicts and I'm prey.


the fat girl in me just wants to yell "SKINNY BITCH" at all of them! these heffas look like they ate piles of shit for breakfast.....


I feel like I went to high school with half of these women. it's scaring the snot out of me, frankly.

Audrey Mark

Pshaw. You should see the look on MY face when I'm put in front of a camera. I hate being photographed. These kids are total amateurs.


I'm put in front of a camera. I hate being photographed. These kids are total amateurs.obat herbal kolesterol

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