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Thursday, February 17, 2011

53

Is Your Name Slutty, Vanessa/Chris?

Here's a handful of deeply scientific facts about sluttiness and names. I asked my friend Dorothy who her three-tenths of a person was, and what that experience was like, but she wouldn't tell me.

(Click the image to see all the "facts.")

[Via]



53 Comments / Post A Comment

nicki minaj

i suppose the D.E.N.N.I.S. system is more practical than previously thought

thundacunt_1

OMG....LOL..the D.E.N.N.I.S system is fool proof!!

saythatscool

11 people?!? Who were they polling, the Amish? I slept with 11 people last year.

saythatscool

And I'm not even including DeepOmega's mom.

garge

I don't understand why you wouldn't include her, that's really mean.

saythatscool

5 words - hot dog down a hallway.

Caitlin Podiak

I'm surprised about Heather.

Jane Marie

and michelle. and faith, as girls named after virtues are often dick magnets.

petejayhawk

It's a shame about Ray.

martinipie

god dammit. guess I need to go find 8.2 more people to have sex with before the year is out.

theinvisiblecunt

Jack, Vanessa, or Megan?

Kneetoe

I'm going to guess, at least for the ladies, that these lists are almost entirely explained by age, whereby the ones on the left list are over-represented by younger, non-married types, and the ones on the right by older, married types.

theinvisiblecunt

Thefrisky claims these are lifetime counts, not annual or weekly or anything, so you'd expect the reverse actually

saythatscool

In other news, Suzanne is demanding a recount.

Kneetoe

I assumed daily. I still think it's age, and girls are just that much sluttier now.

theinvisiblecunt
Kneetoe

No, but perhaps they're just better at it?

(Or, I suppose, my guess based on nothing but guessing could, I suppose--and it's unlikely--by less than 100% correct.)

theinvisiblecunt

Oh forgive me, I didn't realize dissent was ~such a faux pas

Kneetoe

Haha, I didn't notice the link before.

Yes, dissent is frowned on.

Bonnie Downing

Seems like Renee should be even higher up. Has an actual Renee ever been spotted outside of a 70s cocktail lounge? Sorry Renees who read The Hairpin.

zidaane

Or people who married them.

zidaane

But, I tell ya, mix a Matt and Renee together and it's FIRE.

thundacunt_1

my mother is a Renee....and she is a whore!

MollyculeTheory

For a minute I was like "There are enough guys named "Medium" to be on the chart? Mediums are getting more ass than Bruces anyway." Graph comprehension issues.

parla

I'd tap a guy named medium.

Also, I'm going to name my future fictional offspring some sort of beverage size. Perhaps Large, or maybe Venti (dare I say Trenta?)

thundacunt_1

OMG...Trenta! damn! if i had my son 8 months later we would have a Trenta instead of a Tarin

wallsdonotfall

Edward doesn't get any ass? Was this before or after Twilight came out?

someguy

I thought the same about Robert (Patterson), but then I remembered Twilight is supposed to be all about Mormanism and abstinence .

sp8ce

Does Edward ever actually get any?

someguy

They have a baby together!

wallsdonotfall

He does, yes. But more to the point, real-world wannabe-Bellas don't have funkiller vampire boyfriends to hold them back from doin' it with their own Edwards. All that repressed sexual tension!

ErinB

Just where is Jennifer in all of this? I don't care, but I know so many people named Jennifer it just seems like we should all get a heads up which way it is.

Kneetoe

They were all to, um, busy, to answer the question.

PBandJ

Pretty sure Sarah got screwed too. Not literally. Well, maybe literally, but not notably screwed literally.

Layla

Are we just going to let it go unremarked-upon that the bars on the ladygraph are horizontal and the bars on the mangraph vertical?

Kneetoe

And the red bars on the ladygraphs are for the biggest winner and loser while the red ones on the mangraph of for the medium number (and do they mean average?)?

blaybeck

Reassuring that my little sister's name is Faith

saythatscool

There are exceptions to every statistical study, of course.

maevemealone

These charts were made by a hating Tanya.

arielleann

I dated a Chris. Suddenly, so much is clear. Or... more confusing. Is there a chart to describe my feelings?

ejcsanfran

Same boat - and I suspect we're not alone. Perhaps we can stage a "I have a shitty ex named Chris" get together at Madison Square Garden?

zebulon

I know that it's easily explained, but I really want there to be deeper implications in the fact that the most sexually active man has one more partner than the most sexually active woman...

daisylind

ha ha ha! My real name is Dorothy, after both my grandmothers, who were also named Dorothy. It's a rare name nowadays! I get the sense it was very popular two generations ago, so maybe it's ranking low because the older set doesn't have a lot of sex?

Anyway, I don't go by Dorothy, but my life-long nickname, Daisy, so I'm not sure if I would count towards this survey....

ejcsanfran

That depends. Are you slutty?

katherine

So much for Diana being the goddess of virginity.

Diana

You have no idea how many repressed memories of having to read Roman mythologies out loud in high school just spilled forth. I JUST HAD STANDARDS.

jessica

A sleazy barista was hitting on me once, and when I told her my name (FOR THE COFFEE), she responded, "Of COURSE your name is Jessica. They're all named Jessica." Aside from being so, so gross (NO TIP), it confirmed an icky suspicion about the Jessica=slutty thing. Jessica Hahn, Jessica Rabbit, Jessica Simpson, Jessica me. Obviously I slept with her later, because I am a slutty, slut-slut! Yesssssica out!

Judes

But the male graphs are headed "male names who have the most/least sex", but the axis is labelled "number of partners". You might have one partner but be shagging the WHOLE time!

Puns-n-Roses

Exactly. Start early, find the right person, and keep 'em in the basement.

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