Thursday, February 17, 2011


Is Your Name Slutty, Vanessa/Chris?

Here's a handful of deeply scientific facts about sluttiness and names. I asked my friend Dorothy who her three-tenths of a person was, and what that experience was like, but she wouldn't tell me.

(Click the image to see all the "facts.")


53 Comments / Post A Comment

nicki minaj

i suppose the D.E.N.N.I.S. system is more practical than previously thought


OMG....LOL..the D.E.N.N.I.S system is fool proof!!


11 people?!? Who were they polling, the Amish? I slept with 11 people last year.


And I'm not even including DeepOmega's mom.


I don't understand why you wouldn't include her, that's really mean.


5 words - hot dog down a hallway.

Caitlin Podiak

I'm surprised about Heather.

Jane Marie

and michelle. and faith, as girls named after virtues are often dick magnets.


It's a shame about Ray.


god dammit. guess I need to go find 8.2 more people to have sex with before the year is out.


Jack, Vanessa, or Megan?


I'm going to guess, at least for the ladies, that these lists are almost entirely explained by age, whereby the ones on the left list are over-represented by younger, non-married types, and the ones on the right by older, married types.


Thefrisky claims these are lifetime counts, not annual or weekly or anything, so you'd expect the reverse actually


In other news, Suzanne is demanding a recount.


I assumed daily. I still think it's age, and girls are just that much sluttier now.


No, but perhaps they're just better at it?

(Or, I suppose, my guess based on nothing but guessing could, I suppose--and it's unlikely--by less than 100% correct.)


Oh forgive me, I didn't realize dissent was ~such a faux pas


Haha, I didn't notice the link before.

Yes, dissent is frowned on.

Bonnie Downing

Seems like Renee should be even higher up. Has an actual Renee ever been spotted outside of a 70s cocktail lounge? Sorry Renees who read The Hairpin.


Or people who married them.


But, I tell ya, mix a Matt and Renee together and it's FIRE.


my mother is a Renee....and she is a whore!


For a minute I was like "There are enough guys named "Medium" to be on the chart? Mediums are getting more ass than Bruces anyway." Graph comprehension issues.


I'd tap a guy named medium.

Also, I'm going to name my future fictional offspring some sort of beverage size. Perhaps Large, or maybe Venti (dare I say Trenta?)


OMG...Trenta! damn! if i had my son 8 months later we would have a Trenta instead of a Tarin


Edward doesn't get any ass? Was this before or after Twilight came out?


I thought the same about Robert (Patterson), but then I remembered Twilight is supposed to be all about Mormanism and abstinence .


Does Edward ever actually get any?


They have a baby together!


He does, yes. But more to the point, real-world wannabe-Bellas don't have funkiller vampire boyfriends to hold them back from doin' it with their own Edwards. All that repressed sexual tension!


Just where is Jennifer in all of this? I don't care, but I know so many people named Jennifer it just seems like we should all get a heads up which way it is.


They were all to, um, busy, to answer the question.


Pretty sure Sarah got screwed too. Not literally. Well, maybe literally, but not notably screwed literally.


Are we just going to let it go unremarked-upon that the bars on the ladygraph are horizontal and the bars on the mangraph vertical?


And the red bars on the ladygraphs are for the biggest winner and loser while the red ones on the mangraph of for the medium number (and do they mean average?)?


Reassuring that my little sister's name is Faith


There are exceptions to every statistical study, of course.


These charts were made by a hating Tanya.


I dated a Chris. Suddenly, so much is clear. Or... more confusing. Is there a chart to describe my feelings?


Same boat - and I suspect we're not alone. Perhaps we can stage a "I have a shitty ex named Chris" get together at Madison Square Garden?


I know that it's easily explained, but I really want there to be deeper implications in the fact that the most sexually active man has one more partner than the most sexually active woman...


ha ha ha! My real name is Dorothy, after both my grandmothers, who were also named Dorothy. It's a rare name nowadays! I get the sense it was very popular two generations ago, so maybe it's ranking low because the older set doesn't have a lot of sex?

Anyway, I don't go by Dorothy, but my life-long nickname, Daisy, so I'm not sure if I would count towards this survey....


That depends. Are you slutty?


So much for Diana being the goddess of virginity.


You have no idea how many repressed memories of having to read Roman mythologies out loud in high school just spilled forth. I JUST HAD STANDARDS.


A sleazy barista was hitting on me once, and when I told her my name (FOR THE COFFEE), she responded, "Of COURSE your name is Jessica. They're all named Jessica." Aside from being so, so gross (NO TIP), it confirmed an icky suspicion about the Jessica=slutty thing. Jessica Hahn, Jessica Rabbit, Jessica Simpson, Jessica me. Obviously I slept with her later, because I am a slutty, slut-slut! Yesssssica out!


But the male graphs are headed "male names who have the most/least sex", but the axis is labelled "number of partners". You might have one partner but be shagging the WHOLE time!


Exactly. Start early, find the right person, and keep 'em in the basement.

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