Tuesday, February 22, 2011


How to Be a Stay at Home Girlfriend

LOL, is this a joke?

47 Comments / Post A Comment


That article's illustration really has me sold on the benefits of a SAHG. (Pronounced saaa-g, not sag.)


thank you for the proper pronunciation - i was definitely saying sag, not saaaa-g!


Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh. So many mixed feelings, but primarily "ugh."

On the one hand, this is such a blatant throwback to all the bullshit 1950s please-your-man-above-all gender norms ("always have whiskey ready!" is good advice for LIFE, not for keeping Your Man.)

On the other hand? When my live-in boyfriend didn't have a job, he insisted on doing like 90% of the household-y stuff (cooking, cleaning, laundry, all that shit). Because he wanted to pull his weight, and he knew that housework is what adults do.

And if you do it, great, whatever, but it doesn't make you special, it makes you "not a lazy piece of shit." It certainly doesn't entitle you to write holier-than-thou trend pieces with candy-pink illustrations and special instructions on how if he makes the money you should be ready for sex whenever he is, and also always wear makeup. UGH.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you do this type of thing out of necessity, there's no need to fucking brag about it. It's called "being an adult and keeping the damn house clean."


But... she says she is pulling her weight. She says she still pays for half of everything which makes me think she got the worst of a bad bargain. If I'm going to be cooking a roast in a tube top with a whiskey on ice for my man before "sexy time," isn't that good for, I dunno, at least a 50% discount on my part of the rent?


Yeah, I mean, in my opinion (and in my relatively limited experience with shackin' up), splitting everything 50-50 no matter what is not such a good idea. I'm a big fan of contributing to rent/bills in proportion to what you make - i.e. if he makes half of what I make, I'll pay double the rent that he does. It's not equal, but it's equitable, and it's a lot less stressful for all involved.

You're right, she did get the shit end of the stick. If this guy is so great and worth waxing her legs for or whatever, why couldn't she be like "hey I don't have any income maybe you help me with rent and I'll do your laundry? kthx."


Yeah, this makes no sense, if she's paying half the rent, he could be doing at least some of the cleaning. Then again, if this is how she likes things, then good for her I guess.

I don't think that cleaning and enjoying taking care of the person you love makes you not a feminist or whatever, though I do find the tone of this article pretty goddamn annoying.

Lily Rowan

SERIOUSLY. The person with more money should pay more, the person with more time should do more around the house. Why is that so crazy?? You don't have to become "A Housewife" to clean shit up.

Meredith L.

Has she never even heard "Independent Woman (Part 1)"?

Caitlin Podiak

I'm a stay at home girlfriend and this article is totally relevant to my life. In related news, I'm currently wearing sweatpants and nothing but sweatpants because I dribbled yogurt all over my t-shirt while reading the article.


Can we be friends? Because I'm currently wearing leggings, a giant t-shirt, and have pudding all over my face. And I'm at home. At 2:30. On a weekday.


This article gives new meaning to the word MILF.




Because she's his girlfriend. And his mom.


Oh, man… I think this kind of says it all. She's also the author of "I'm the Other Woman"? http://www.bvonlove.com/2011/02/07/im-the-other-woman :C


Hoo boy.


IKR? Shit, if my husband left his fiancee and two kids for me, I'd be doing my best to be sure he didn't have a reason to go looking for some on the side AGAIN.


And, best part? Not. Her. Husband. BOYFRIEND. BOYFRIEND. Not even got a ring on it! PLEEEEEZE.


get a job hippie


i actually read this and compared it to my situation - I have a SAHB. He actually does pretty much all the stuff she does (except for at-home waxing and the sex... let's just say that his ego has taken a battering from joblessness and that has led to less interest). It doesn't sound so bad when you think of a guy doing it, no?

Lily Rowan

I don't think what she's doing is "bad," (as I alluded to above -- more time at home should = more cleaning) but the tone of the piece is cree-pee.


"I’m positive some people reading this will assume I’m a brainwashed and battered woman, and I can’t say I’m all that concerned."
To be fair, "battered" shouldn't be assumed. As for "brainwashed," she's the one who referred to her own routine as "sterotypically Stepfordish," so…yeah.


Haha, I know, parts of this were very "lol you guys I'm such a stereotype!! Totally wrong I know. Tee hee."


" Everyone knows there is nothing more important in a relationship than that special time between the sheets."

I think the problem here is not the situation she's in but the tone in which she writes or WHY she's doing what she's doing.And by defending herself and her choices so much (I'M NOT BRAINWASHED!!)she actually makes it weirder.

Patrick M

"Hey, you, what's going on in that little head of yours?"
"A martini, I guess?"


How nice. How. Nice.


She needs to be single. Crazy lady




Edith Zimmerman

OMG how did you do that


Haha it's pretty easy. I recommend using http://imgur.com or another image hosting site - you can either upload pics from your computer, or copy/paste the URL of an image you found online, and it will generate links for you to embed in comments. The code you want will be the html one that starts with < rather than [

My favorite source for images: http://fuckyeahreactionface.tumblr.com. Just right-click on the image, select 'copy image url,' and paste into the image hosting tool.

Setec Astrology

Whoa. The Hairpin has just been Videogummed. This changes everything...


I live to stir shit up.


Ugh. This reminds me of this ‘news piece’ they did in Sydney last year where they interviewed all these SAHGs who were basically this lady. And then during the interview these SAHGs were all like ‘we don’t think feminism is a good thing’ (paraphrased).


You. Guys. Edith started to get it with the "is this a joke?" but.

I'm pretty sure Quiana Stokes is a robot. A robot who has figured out how to make money by generating pieces of internet writing that sound vaguely like a female penned them but are in fact based solely on cutting and pasting text from Cosmo, Glamour and even a little Marie Claire (also written by robots) (thx to tippersnark for confirming this by finding another piece she "wrote"). If only *I* had been the genius programmer to figure out how to monetize this Quiana Stokes bot, I would not spend all my time underemployed and fantasizing about being a SAHG.


She's also written gems like "Leg Love: How to Understand and Control Your Cellulite!" and "Luscious Lips: 5 Tips and Tricks for a Pretty Pucker!" and "Hair Transformation: Solange Knowles' Constantly Changing Look!" I just... I dunno. I need to go lie down for a while, I think.

Tim D

@julia, as member of team Brokelyn, I do have to point out that we're all volunteer writers, so Quiana wrote this without any financial incentive. Other than that, carry on.


Whaaaaaat? It's like she has a PhD in givin' it away for little financial benefit. WHAT THE H


I was all furious about the 50's throwback, then I read this line: "I have eight to nine hours everyday to send out my resumés and clean and make dinner, by the time he comes home from work I am well rested." I laughed my ass off.

No one in their right mind could write that sentence with a straight face, so this has got to be a joke.


Hahaha, yes! This. Complete bullshittery.

Kick Start

I think I just found the punchline: http://vimeo.com/19843219


Would it be mean to send this to my roommate (who lives with her boyfriend)??


I have a job and I'm still expected to do this shit!


Wait, I have to leave the HOUSE?


My ex-husband was trying to be my SAHG. Now I get it.


Hmmm... I think I need one of these SAHGs...

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