Barbie, Don’t

Mattel wants your adult opinion. But what made them break up in the first place? When they announced their divorce in 2004, their business manager explained it was time for them “to spend some quality time — apart,” but that they would “remain friends.” Vague. Barbie’s been doing a lot of cool things since they split — including the coolest thing to do, blog — and so I say Ken go burn in hell, you spineless social climber. The current voting results, however, are disappointing.

And so I’ve been refreshing the page to vote no, over and over again, just to punish them. Ohhh I’ve refreshed so many times! They’re truly going to learn their lesson.

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