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What to Do If Your Shoes Make Too Much Noise

Do your new shoes make too much noise in your office? Here are, as far as I can tell, your main options.

1. Walk slowly with small, “light” steps. Look weird, and attract the attention of coworkers who probably hadn’t noticed your shoes in the first place, because people are busy, this is a workplace, and no one’s thinking about you. Feel like an idiot.

2. Walk loudly and naturally, so it seems like you’re confident with the sounds your body makes. You exist; it’s OK to make noise. But wait, what is walking naturally? Whatever, act like the way you’re walking is the natural way. But also, now your shoes are making even more noise than before, which hadn’t seemed possible. Feel like an idiot.

3. Stay sitting down. : (

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