14
The Mermaid Oyster Bed of Terror
"And here's the guest room, where you'll be staying."
"Oh my god, the bed! That's insane, I love it! Wait. No, I hate it. I hate it!"
"Toooo late!" [lock turns]
[Via]
I can't think of a more appropriate place to give her a pearl necklace.
It's like a tanning bed you sleep in, minus getting a tan, plus FEAR.
Sometimes I want to feel trapped inside a coffin, but for no real reason or purpose!
This was my exact first thought too! All the reasons I have never, ever even considered laying in a tanning bed…multiplied.
The opening/closing mechanism looks like it would jam in the way that an ironing board does. It's upsetting.
Oh god, it … closes? I was pretending "that mechanism looks kind of … adjustable? No way, they wouldn't do that, no way, it's just how it looks when it is in its permanently and irrevocably open position."
Nap clam.
NAP CLAM
A good place to try out that innocent childhood fantasy of fucking The Little Mermaid. Or, you know, death.
The worst is waking up every morning crusted in nacre.
What if it's suspended by strings on the top that we just can't see? I am really pulling for that option because this bed looks comfortable.
I have many, many questions.
I would probably (definitely) spend the entire night setting up and photographing increasingly absurd "Birth of Venus" spoofs, then make a failed attempt at sleeping on the floor.
Finally, a place where I can justify my lemon wedges & cocktail sauce foreplay!