Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal have broken up, which means, as some are noting, that a Jake-themed Taylor Swift song is probably in the works. Well, not only is it in the works, it's done, and The Hairpin got the first listen. It's really, really good. We can't play it for you, but we can transcribe the lyrics. Here they are.
Answer your phone. Pick it up you jackass!
I'm like ... ? [And then there's a long silence where you wonder, Is the song over? But it's not.]
Whatever, I'm just a girl who doesn't care whether you pick up your phone, even if you rewound to the part where I said I did; that's in the past, the present is now, the future is coming, death is imminent, it's all around us like a blanket of shadows.
Personally I also have a blanket, I found it in a store.
It was on sale, my friend told me not to buy it, but I looked at her with this expression that said, "You know I'm gonna buy this," and I did.
Jake, whose blanket would you choose? Death's, or mine?
Well, you already did choose, because you chose death.
Yeah, pretty intense and extremely short. It surprised us, too. It's called "Two Blankets."