Wednesday, January 5, 2011


Taylor Swift's Song About Jake Gyllenhaal

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal have broken up, which means, as some are noting, that a Jake-themed Taylor Swift song is probably in the works. Well, not only is it in the works, it's done, and The Hairpin got the first listen. It's really, really good. We can't play it for you, but we can transcribe the lyrics. Here they are.


Answer your phone. Pick it up you jackass!

I'm like ... ? [And then there's a long silence where you wonder, Is the song over? But it's not.]

Whatever, I'm just a girl who doesn't care whether you pick up your phone, even if you rewound to the part where I said I did; that's in the past, the present is now, the future is coming, death is imminent, it's all around us like a blanket of shadows.

Personally I also have a blanket, I found it in a store.

It was on sale, my friend told me not to buy it, but I looked at her with this expression that said, "You know I'm gonna buy this," and I did.

Jake, whose blanket would you choose? Death's, or mine?

Well, you already did choose, because you chose death.

Yeah, pretty intense and extremely short. It surprised us, too. It's called "Two Blankets."

7 Comments / Post A Comment


I always assumed she dated Jake because his name is so easy to rhyme. Ache, bake, cake, break, flake, fake, wake, opaque, snake, take, quake. But what rhymes with Gyllenhaal? Orange.


Edith, when we have our FMK sleepover, can we play Taylor Swift songs all night? Or just make up songs about the 37 Hollywood guys she's gonna "date"/"break up with" over the next 5 years?

Edith Zimmerman

FMK sleepover -- while I do actually know what you're talking about, of course -- just sounds like a bunch of us are going to fuck, then marry, then kill one another, ALL NIGHT LONG! Hairpin goes out with a bang, literally, and murder.

Edith Zimmerman

Oh, and yes to your question.

Bonnie Downing

Well NOW I'm into that sleepover.

Bonnie Downing

I can't keep all these little teenage singers straight. They're all blond, they're all always singin' about death's damn blanket.

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