Friday, January 7, 2011


Spot the Differences Between 1990s Barbie and 2000s Barbie

1. Her back is more arched.

2. She has a head.

3. She dyed her underwear flesh-colored.

4. She got bikini-cut underwear instead of the hi-rise ones. (What are those called, thigh-cut?)

5. Her butt is cuter.

6. Her ribcage deflated.

7. Her torso seems slightly shorter?

8. She's older.

9. She thinks more about death.

10. She is closer to death, though, no matter when it happens. Every moment is closer than the last.


26 Comments / Post A Comment


2000s Barbie is ready for a go-see. Or to have the synthetic hair applied to her merkin.

Both fun things!

(Her arms are skinnier too.)


Who will the icy claw of death reach for next? Elmo?




Did everyone know there's a competition going on for men who actually want to be like Ken? Genuine Ken: The Search for the Great American Boyfriend. Did not know there were so many American eunuchs. Even though on the About page, it says that Barbie dumped Ken for that Aussie Blaine in 2001. Awkward.

Patrick M

Could you have them both recite "Little Jack Horner" before I make my decision?




woah, I'm surprised by how disconcerting it is to see a Barbie with a normal-lady, vs. Jayne Mansfield, -style ribcage. but the real question is, are her feet still permanently molded into high-heel posture?
fun fact: you know how (if you are an occasional high-heel-wearing lady) you can flex your bare feet into Barbie-shape? (or, at least, I assume I'm not the only one with this ability?) the other day I discovered my husband cannot do this, like, at ALL. so I can only assume it's a "talent" derived from shoe-related muscle toning, which I find slightly freaky.


I was actually coming on here to say that my body type much more closely resembles the 90's barbie.

Bonnie Downing

That is also why I am here, to say that. Let's check back with each other in ten years.


whuups...I see now that perhaps "normal-lady" was not the most inclusive way for me to have put that--I apologize. but hopefully the Jayne Mansfield comparison makes clear that I meant "abnormal" in the "on the unusually-hot edge of the bell curve" sense. I myself more closely resemble the revamped version, to the extent that I resemble Barbie at all, which is to say barely.


I think the operative phrase in all of this is "to the extent that I resemble Barbie at all," which is, you know, barely.


I think you missed the fact that 90s Barbie is apparently headless. That seems like a big change, giving her a head.

Edith Zimmerman

See No. 2!


The biggest change between me 10 minutes ago and me now is that I can read now.


Nick - yes. A head seems like maybe the biggest difference of all.


90's Barbie is actually 50's Ken with gynecomastia? (Still no penis.)


Until, of course, you die. Then every moment gets further away. Til, really, you never were.


'90s Barbie has that boxy torso look that was so appealing in Edwardian times.


I am enjoying this new website, The Dawl !

major disaster

I believe those hi-cut underwear on the 90's Barbie were known as "French-cut." I always wondered whether people in France really wore them.

Bonnie Downing

I remember that underwear being everywhere and it never fitting on my body.

major disaster

I remember liking the high leg, but hating that they also had a very high waist. I am very high-waisted myself, so anything (underwear, pants, skirts, whatever) that sits higher than my hips is really, really uncomfortable, to the point where I find myself obsessively trying to fold down the waistband all day.


Oh my gosh, they whitewashed Barbie! Could 'flesh-toned' plastic get any lighter?


THAT'S why heidi montag had her back "scooped out"!

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