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Thursday, January 20, 2011

18

Imaginary Lines From an Imaginary 9/11 Sex and the City Episode

“Meanwhile uptown, Samantha was having a few explosions of her own.”

“It was at that moment Charlotte resolved that if her fellow countrymen were brave enough to revolt against knife-wielding hijackers, the least she could do was take off her bra during sex.”

“Ooooh! Oooh! New Blahniks! AL BUYDA!”

“Later that day I got to thinking about Muslims and relationships. If I couldn’t even tell Big that I was upset about our dinner, was I really any more liberated than a veiled woman? How do we New York women take off our emotional burkas?”

Samantha: “Oh please, you don’t think he’s a little cute?”
Charlotte: “Samantha, no! How can you say that? He just masterminded the killing of 3,000 Americans!”
Samantha: “Probably because he hasn't Bin Laiden in a while.”

Lauren Bans is a culture writer at The Daily.

18 Comments / Post A Comment

Bonnie Downing

Soo f-ed up and brilliant.

-----------

This is disconcertingly fantastic.

Carrie Battan

Oh my god, this is so, so good.

dr.funke

gaaaah. yes, a thousand times yesss.

kariface

Dead-On. Holy shit.

Judy McGuire

So wrong and yet so right.

TooCool4School

"I couldn't help but wonder, was staying with Aidan while sleeping with Big like hanging out at the top of the tower while it burned below my feet?"

chozzles

"While an inferno was raging downtown, taking innocent firefighters, Samantha was raging uptown, about to take a firefighter's innocence."

thundacunt_1

holy crap...*slow clap*

wonderful.

Kath

You had me at "AL BUYDA". Oh my GODDDDDD

juliec

So glad it's no longer "too soon."

bb
bb

"I considered a more practical outfit, but New York women would rather die in a collapsing tower than wear shorter than 4" heels."

"Miranda was having a fling with an associate who was working on a pro bono case with her. After hours of debating 9/11 rescue worker's lung problems, they would end up out of breath for different reasons."

anonymouses2

you officially made the first 9/11 funnies

Jamie

Well done.

fiona

ts;dr

(too soon, didn't read)

not really, though. #2!!!

EHarmony

Spot on. And thanks again Hairpin for not being Jezebel.

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