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Friday, January 21, 2011

11

Good News About Mopping

I found the sentence we've been looking for:

An hour of pushing a mop across the floor and wringing it out in a bucket works off 238 calories, the equivalent of a chocolate bar or two small glasses of wine.

But then what if what you were mopping up was wine, and the bucket you were wringing it into also had a tube hooked up to it that went into your mouth? An infinite loop. Until you had cleaned up all the wine on the floor, I guess, at which point you could just stand there, perfectly in balance.

11 Comments / Post A Comment

epingleacheveux

What a gross image.

Mopping nonstop for an hour? That's one big, dirty floor.

cherrispryte

Who has this much square footage that they can mop for an hour?

And, um, who actually mops anymore? The Lord saw fit to give us Swiffer Wet Jets for a reason.

Jolie Kerr

Do those really do the trick? I've always been disappointed in Swiffer products (or any 'quick job' type cleaning products really) but I hate hate hate doing the floors and would happily take any shortcut, provided it WORKS.

Bear in mind that I'm a hands-and-knees-sponge-and-ammonia-solution girl when it comes to my floors.

cherrispryte

It depends on the condition of your floors? They aren't good for getting in corners and I usually wind up having to take a clorox wipe to the weird angles in my kitchen to get the random debris that somehow finds its way there, but for general dust or the "how is my entire kitchen covered in powdered sugar" moments, they're pretty good. I still give my kitchen floor a good scrubbing every few months or so with a brush and a bucket, but this is good for the in-between times.

Also, amusingly, if you're putting on a play in a black box theatre and the director, who you love deeply or otherwise you would not be a volunteer stagehand, has insisted that you use REAL SOD as part of the set, the wet swiffer gets the tons of dirt off the stage floor far more quickly and effectively than any other cleaning item.

So there's that.

MoonBat

Note to self: refuse any invitations from Edith to "come over for a drink or two".

elektrovideo

Oh please. I'm not dumb. I think we all know that mopping up wine so that we can drink it through the little plastic tube that runs from the mop bucket to our mouth only causes chocolate bar cravings.

meander

It is my dream to have a floor large enough to justify actual mopping rather than just Swiffering.

ejcsanfran

I thought it said "moping" - and I'm very disappointed that moping will not melt away the pounds.

theinvisiblecunt

I read it the same way, but it was a positive thing for me when I realized what it actually said and quit worrying about my burgeoning anorexia

jceekah

Geez, cool it with the female stereotypes, science! What if I want 2 bourbons and a steak after a long day of lady-mopping? Which will, of course, be followed by wine and chocolate for dessert.

Jenifer_Mike

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