Edith, What's Actually in Your Handbag Right Now?
In the spirit of magazine articles that employ celebrity handbags and makeup bags to give readers a product-dump of shiny, enviable bottles, tubes, jars, and pots (see: Marie Claire's "In the Bag" feature, an interesting but frustratingly manicured celebrity "exposé" found on the last page of the print edition), we began by asking each other, and then, hopefully, other women with bags, What's actually in your bag right now? Edith, you first.
1. Moleskin notebook.
2. Bobby pin.
3. Chapstick.
4. Travel-sized Kleenex.
5. Pen.
6. Yves Saint Laurent glossy lipstick thing ("Gloss Volupté" in No. 3 Frozen Cherry) — smells good, I used it up pretty quickly, but I keep it in my bag in case I get hit by a car and they wonder what kind of woman I am.
7. Used up tissues, because I'm sick.
8. Magician David Blaine's business card. No joke. "I do card tricks," he said. I keep it loose in my purse because I guess I've been subconsciously hoping for an opportunity to show it off like this, and also because it didn't fit in my old wallet that I just replaced.
9. Other little notebook.
10. Cole Haan wallet. Christmas present from my mom. Replaced a beloved Velcro wallet that was falling apart.
11. Business card holder thing. I got it for free in a gift bag a few months ago, but I forget I have it, and haven't given anyone my business card in at least a year.
12. Ticket. I think this was for Rob Delaney's one-man show a couple weeks ago. (It was a good show! Follow him on Twitter!)
13. The container for a pair of pastel green hairpins (!) my friend gave me that have little faces painted on them and little ears made of feathers.
14. Laura Mercier SPF 15 Lip Kisses lipstick in I believe Rose Quartz, although the label has worn off. I never use this one anymore.
15. CVS brand band-aid.
16. Crumpled receipt.
17. Rite-Aid brand oil-blotting papers. Don't get these! These suck. Stick with the Clean & Clear blue ones, or the CVS brand blue ones. God, I hate Rite-Aid.
18. Laura Mercier lip stain in Mulberry. This is pretty good!
19. Yu-Be hand lotion. THIS IS THE BEST LOTION! Highly recommended.
20. Little pink hand mirror my mom brought me back from Japan a few years ago.
21. Matches from local wine store, never used.
22. Pen, broken.
23. Cranberry-scented Weleda hand lotion in a metal tube. From the same gift bag as No. 11, the business-card holder thing.
24. Battered Rite-Aid brand tampon.
25. Korres lip butter in Wild Rose. Kind of the wrong shade, but sometimes worn in combination with No. 18, the Laura Mercier thing.
26. Rosebud Salve. Not actually so crazy about this, but I discovered it in my childhood bedroom over XMas and was like why not.
27. Oral B floss. I've never used this. Not floss in general, just this one.
28. A rock with a hole in it, from my friend Cecilia. Or is it a bone? Thank you, Cecilia!
29. Contacts case.
Oh, shoot, and I realize my keys and phone aren't pictured, but that's because I take them out as soon as I get home. Liz?
1. Kindle, inside a cheap neoprene case from eBay. Never thought I would be into this gadget, but you know, I am. When there are lights on. It's not back-lit. It's so old school!
2. A notebook that I've mostly been using as a mousepad.
3. The February issue of Elle. As you can see, I am way more interested in what Karlie Kloss is selling (Dior) than what the cover girl Katie Holmes isn't anymore selling (The Kennedys).
4. A blue Rimmel eyeshadow quad. How might one go into a drugstore and buy a million makeup items and be charged around $20 at the end of it? Buy all Rimmel. See also: the Rimmel Stay Matte foundation over to the right, which I forgot to label. Excellent, cheap, and oil-free!
5. A Clinique eyeshadow with perhaps some splatters of toothpaste on it. This eyeshadow was actually free with my mother's purchase of an expensive Clinique cream for my sister. That's just how it is in my family. That's just how it is.
6. A wonderful Topshop lipstick in a shade called Rio Rio, which is slightly more orange than the red notebook pictured. A rare treat, yet it's always in here.
7. Dog kibble!
8. A Dynamite Melon-Filled Melon Mint Candy. Not sure if/how this belongs to me. Restaurant?
9. Neostrata wrinkle cream that I bought at a pharmacy in Canada during some kind of windfall. It has Retin-A in it. It's never too early for Retin-A, I've decided.
10. A piece of a pendant that's supposed to be like a … ranch house? This is just the roof of it. I think the house proper is in a different makeup bag somewhere.
11. My "wallet." I haven't had a functioning wallet for years. Don't care!
12. An expired passport from 1997. My only form of ID right now (besides the real passport, which is too special for that).
13. Random pen, writes decently well.
14. Matches from Bonita, a restaurant in Williamsburg that is no more.
15. Packet of Theraflu. Instant unconscious party.
16. Bose on-ear headphones. Highly recommended! Partly because even if something/someone chews through the cord five times, Bose will keep sending you a replacement.
17. Almay #1 Makeup Remover. This shit is awful, it will leave your face looking like you just spent a day in the sun with Banana Boat tanning oil all over you. (It's "moisturizing," which is an evil word.) But it's all I have right now.
18. Tweezerman tweezers.
19. An iron pill.
20. A pop-up Christmas card from my sister of a cat messing about with a Christmas tree.
21. Something that might be connected to my keys in the future, I haven't figured out what I want to do there yet.
22. Dorky running sunglasses! How embarrassing. When on, they make me look a lot like this guy.
Photo via Lookbook.nu
Oh god, mine would gross everyone out. "Old plastic container filled with mixed vitamins, torn, unused envelopes, bear spray, mason jar."
Bear spray? Mason jar? Really?
Please tell the story behind those intriguing items, Katie!
Camping! Nah… the mason jar is my environmentally friendly reusable cup (YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU NEED A CUP!) and the bear spray my dad gave me for self-defense and I have never taken it out of my bag. I'm pretty sure by the time I get it out and the safety off, the muggers will have mugged me already. However, I've been paranoid my entire life so I carry it around anyway!
You could always throw the mason jar at the mugger first, and while he's looking down at it ("WHAT the….?") you'll have time to disable the safety on your bear spray.
I thought bear spray was some sort of bear repellent. Like, you stood on your bed and sprayed it a circle of it on the floor at night so bears wouldn't come close.
@Moon: Brill idea. Gonna totally do that. Those jars are heavy!
@Multiphasic: Pretty sure that's a great way to repel yourself from your own bed!
Giiiiiirrrll, you need to deal with your ID issues, STAT. You lose that passport and basically you're homeless and your life becomes a disaster.
HI! I know, I need to learn how to DRIVE, is what needs to happen, now that I live in Drive City USA (one of thousands). My real passport actually exists, I just fear using it for ID, so it's hidden away somewhere!
My friend lost his I.D. and his passport, and was basically sending photocopies of his elementary school report cards and affidavits swearing to his identity by his cousins to the state department. Over and over again. It was terrible!
Philosoraptor and Courage Wolf best move aside — Gentle Admonishment Choire is the new ish!
This was my first concern too! I carry around my social security card though, which is stupid/potentially disasterous, so I can't act superior.
Don't worry, I haven't seen my social security card in years…
You can get a State ID card issued by the DMV if you are not a driver. This is a quick and easy process and possibly a good stopgap measure while you are "learning to drive"? (I say this as someone who also does not know how to drive and has been planning on learning to do so for like 8 years now.)
I was in that hell of no State ID, missing passport and no SS card. Sometimes you can't even even get into certain buildings
and forget about ice skate rentals.
It's weird and frustrating that they do not accept expired ID to get new ID. The other odd thing is the SS office gave me a new card with a copy of my birth certificate and a copy of my insurance bill(???).
"and forget about ice skate rentals"
I had! [+1]
I feel so much better about things now that I know I walk among others who don't know how to drive. Between this and so many of you with the "always wear underwear" thing, I've never felt more normal. I love you, Hairpin.
I just registered to say I also am a non-driving, underwear-wearing normal person! Aww, Hairpinners, you rock.
yaaaaaay taxi riders!
I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one carrying around random battered tampons.
Aren't we all?
I was carrying so much shame around! Now I have space to carry more battered tampons!
I like that the battered tampons periodically unwrap themselves and then the free-roaming tampon will wipe all of the ink smudges and lipstick smears off of my handbag lining. It's like a shower self cleaner for your purse!
Hah! TRUE! Those are also the ones that come to the surface while I rummage for my wallet at the cashier, though.
I found 2 ob tampons in a rarely used purse the other day, how much do you think I can get for them on EBay?
@Katie: I think you could sell them on Jezebel for $20 per.
@Edith: Right? So you waggle the rogue unwrapped tampon with its red smears at the cashier (especially a BOY cashier), and yell, "Lipstick, I SWEAR!!!"
I once had the contents of my bag quietly go rogue while underneath the bar stool upon which I was perched. One of the free-roaming naked tampons was leading the expedition, of course. I knew nothing about this until a nice young man tapped me on the shoulder and said "Um, your bag spilled." MORTIFICATION.
This is precisely why I bought a purse with a magic zip pocket for tampons/pantiliners/ladythings.
I'm not going to post the whole thing here but this is actually kind of fun to do. Also it reminds you of all the crap you're (in most guys' case, literally) sitting on for no sensible reason.
I think I want bear spray now. My bag is surprisingly not bad. I think that's because in wintertime, my randomness winds up in my coat pockets.
I was excited about this so I looked in my purse, which is tiny and dull, so I turned to my gross ripped work-satchel (free conference tote ugh) and what I learned is: Girl u need to clean out your bag.
I wish someone would have asked this of me last week so I could have answered "upended Manwich."
Also, interested in the handbag size at work here.
Mine's 9" x 6" x 4". A Pendleton (but a diff color).
you're welcome, edith. may the rock with hole forever bring you good luck/protect you from witches.
: )
Am I the only female who doesn't carry a purse? I have a credit card, a debit card, a AAA card, and my driver's license in my back pocket; a small amount of cash in a front pocket; two keys in the other front pocket. If I have my period, I stuff a pad in the other back pocket and a naproxen in the front one. I don't buy clothes without pockets. I don't know what I would do with a rock with a hole in it, though it sounds appealing.
I like the idea of this, but my butt is a true professional of edging things out of my back pockets. I would be signing into a homeless shelter before dinnertime.
I would be on the fast track to losing my ID/keys/mind without a purse.
I've been doing this for 20+ yrs and have lost exactly one key in all that time.
solution: walk with you feet in front of you only. they must not move behind the butt. Okay? Lets see it.
You are not alone. I have not carried one regularly since I left my purse in a classroom the first week of college. It got found, they called my parents which prompted a long discussion on whether I was ready to live away from home.
can… can I do this? I'm doing it!
-wallet with window for my ID or BART card
-gas station sunglasses
-5 partially used napkins
-Brigitte by Tocca perfume sample
-L'eau D'Issey roll on perfume
-2 MAC lipglosses in Tad Saucy and Pretty Quick!
-MAC cream base in Virgin Isle… this insane bright coral pink
-Buxom lip stick in Athens
-Buxom lipglosses in Brandi and Monica
-Urban Decay eye pencil in Green Goddess
-Benetint Highbeam mini
-Tums
-Clove chewing gum
-2 crumpled receipts
-tree frog temporary tattoo
-2 hair clips
-2007 Burning Man ticket (what the fuck?)
-Mighty Leaf tea bag
-mini first aid kit
you have lipglosses in Brandi & Monica?! how is it that they don't get in fights over who The Boy belongs to?!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va1Y6uAgNJY (wrong spelling, I know, but I couldn't resist.)
also, I love both your avatar & the fact that you are thus far the only person whose lipgloss pack-rattery even remotely approaches my own.
Ha! Shit, I have a veritable catfight in my purse!
It's embarrassing, all the makeup, particularly as I'm not wearing any. But if I needed to put some on, hoo boy, I'd be prepared!
why the hell i continue to fail to invest in MAC is beyond me. This has encouraged me.
I have a messenger bag from Germany in lieu of a real purse (I have a little purse for going out). At the moment all it has in it are receipts I don't need and my wallet, as I took out my notebook and library book so I could fit a bottle of Campari in there earlier…
Liz, do you have a dog or does dog kibble have another use I'm not aware of?
Liz has the cutest dog in the worrrr-rrrlllldddd
If you'd asked the contents of the car, dog kibble would have made multiple appearances in my list.
Aww, yay dogs.
dog kibble! this dog is only interested in eating if there's a trick involved, and only interested in tricks if there's kibble involved. it's magic. so they come with me everywhere.
"It's never too early for Retin-A" TRUER WORDS.
Also, i reallllly miss Bonita.
And in my bag right now is a coat check ticket sittin' pretty in plain view, despite being LOST last friday while drunk me searched for it.
When I got to #14, there was a reactionary intake of breath while I silently mouthed "Bonita." Really, really miss.
bonita! la superior is a fine replacement but it's just tacos. ("just tacos"…a hard phrase for me to utter at any time).
Excuse me while I dump the entire contents of my purse onto the floor of my office. I'll just be spending the next hour or so working on this impromptu project – don't mind me.
Well…I did it.
http://thundertheft.blogspot.com/2011/01/contents-of-my-purse.html
My sister and I once cleaned out or purses together and I was declared "winner," when I unearthed $13 in quarters (so heavy) and a sculpture that had formed from an OB tampon, several pieces of green Trident (doesn't stay wrapped so well) a dime, and an Advil. The scene from Belle Du Jour when the madame makes Catherine Deneuve open her purse so she can see of she is enough of a lady to work there haunts me. By that criteria, I am not nearly enough of a lady to prostitute myself.
Ditto with the Doublemint. My pack of gum never stays closed and as a result everything in that pocket of my purse smells minty fresh, including keys, lip gloss, powder compact and batteries.
Edith! Your mother has great taste. That wallet is gorgeous!
My turn?
Sunglasses
Checkbook (when do I ever write checks?)
Purell
Sudafed (a lot, like bordering on meth production a lot)
Trident cinnamon gum (x2. Obsessed)
Inhaler
Vaseline lip balm
Clinique Chubby Stick in Chunky Cherry (LOVE THIS STUFF)
Fresh & Easy, Borders & Old Navy coupons
A check from my mother for my birthday (my birthday is in October)
Various loyalty cards, but most importantly my BevMo card
JVC marshmallow headphones (great for blocking out the shitty music they play at the gym so I can focus on my own shitty music)
Advil
MAC Lipglass in a peachy shimmery color
Gold giraffe necklace
Clinique pressed powder
Bare Minerals sugar cookie gloss
Two uni-ball Signo pens (the best!)
Assorted change
Keys
A tampon
Some random capsule that I seriously don't know what it is.
A generic Zantac
True confessionz: One time, in 2008, I reached into my purse at work and found an unopened block of cheddar cheese. Which I had bought several days earlier at the bodega. I am da grossest. Me n Bonnie.
Into it.
Awesome. Up top!
not actually purse-related, but my mom still loves to tell the story of a phone conversation that took place while I was in my dorm room: I let out a squeal, which I explained with, "ugh, I stepped on this rotten banana & it got all over my bra."
now, granted, there was a sequence of events that made this possible (forgotten banana falling out of backpack moments before bra was knocked off chair, etc.), but it pretty much confirmed my neat-freak mom's worst fears about how I was living On My Own.
Oh, we should start "Things I Found in My Purse the Next Day." I am (was?) a great (slightly inebriated) hoarder of things when they are free, like I've woken up with a purse full of apples, of christmas ornaments, of decorative roosters (almost sure those were not free, though, whoops), of Pink Grapefruit Tic Tacs (a Tic Tac sponsored party! Five boxes! They're super gross and I knew that at the time!), etc.
What the heck is a decorative rooster?? Also, I have definitely woken up to a purse full of toilet paper rolls. I used to steal it from Floyd on Atlantic. Just cause.
Hahaha. KATIE!
And a decorative rooster was just that — it was a fancy, PR-ish dinner party with a bird theme or something, and there were these littler wooden (but not wooden, like… made of something woodish, but very light) rooster decorations in the middle of each table, and when the dinner was over I just went around and put them all in my purse.
Oh bless, I LOVE this! Oh pleaseplease more of these? My pocketbook is hopelessly uptight, and I live in awe of these types of messy and fascinating ladycaves.
Also I would like to see Mary's pleaseplease.
I have an uptight purse too. I worked retail for a short period of time at a store that made you open your purse for security before you were allowed to leave. The first day, I opened my purse and the security guy saw my wallet, 2 glasses cases, and a large zipped makeup bag. He made me open the zipped makeup bag and guess what was inside? Two smaller zipped makeup bags, one with 2 compartments and one with three. At that point, he gave up and let me go.
Uh I art direct the shit out of my handbag in order to know who I am, and it has worked, finally! A sampling: Plum-colored lodis cardholder, cherry chapstick, sample of Bulgari Jasmin Noir and a fountain pen. Also, I keep a scarf with a map of Glacier National Park tied around the handle, to remember I was outside once. Peace out, you rough-edged, complicated humans! I'm gonna drink a Pimm's cup and watch my stories.
ohemgee, this makes me sure that i am the worst human (or the best, because i am like mary poppins?)
-makeup bag (i do it on the train in the AM to the horror of all)
-about 12 receipts/to-do lists that are still undone
-Kiehl's samples (creme de corps body lotion is great!)
-letter from my recent ex (why do i carry this??)
-cheap-ass emory board
-the wire sculpturey thing from a champagne cork
-ball of yarn
-knitting needles (for 2 hats promised MONTHS ago. sorry, i'm the worst!)
-a red string
-a single jingle bell (used to be attached to said string as a necklace)
-ticket stub for "It's a Wonderful Life" (where i used aforementioned jingle bell necklace to help angels acquire wings)
-keys
-Halls cough drops
-contacts case
-a tiny spool of yellow thread
-pair of red earrings! that's where they are!
-floss, toothbrush
-unopened eyeliner (it's my one necessity; this is my back-up)
-Chipotle gift card (from "Dancer," the reindeer)
-checkbook
-sketch comedy festival program
-tampax compax (which i swear i came up with 15 years ago)
-a necklace i broke last night
-spearmint Eclipse (from a male who wanted to kiss me, hot damn!)
-a green velvet ring box
-Rose's strawberry lip balm
-my nasty-ass wallet that has literally been run over by cars while sitting in a snowy parking lot for hours, a year ago.
i promise my bag isn't even that big and/or heavy!
my GOD i yearn for such a small and useful part of the world that someone else could carry for me at all times!
The contents of my purse:
http://thundertheft.blogspot.com/2011/01/contents-of-my-purse.html
yaaay! and you made such a nice looking vintagey looking pile.
Yeah.
katiewalsh, I can beat that. Once I was digging through my purse and found several UNWRAPPED (small) blocks of unidentified white cheese, which I believe I stole from the salad bar at a grocery store. I can't even claim drunkenness or peer pressure (to seem funny/cool/spontaneous) as my reason for doing it.
I think at the time I was paranoid about the weight of the salad I had just put together and how much it would end up costing me. And so I just grabbed a few cubes of cheese, stuck them in my purse (covertly??) and went on my way. When I found them I was all, OMG I AM GROSS !!!!!
CHEESEPURSE!!!!!!!!!!! (that's what my roommate called me after this incident, and you now have that nickname too).
True story: Was talking with a girlfriend in a bar in Portland about the random things women carry around in purses. She pulled out … something odd. Don't remember what. I looked in my bag to see if I could top that and was surprised by an onion.
See, I had been planning to make salsa earlier …
I have to agree with your love for Rimmel, Liz. They have some great mascaras and eyeliners. So cheap and so, so good. For the record, I began investing in a Dior mascara last year and now can't wait to finish that so I can go back to Rimmel!
I'm a day late, but I had to join in: http://andreadisaster.com/?p=4117
Dog food is gross. Purse dog food is even grosser.
I thought periods were part of regular, predictable cycles… so how come so many ladies keep tamps in their purses/cars? I understand it's the kind of emergency that you really want to plug up ASAP, but I thought Science gave you people predictability in that department.
I'm new and late, but I really love these things.
1.) Extremely battered moleskin notebook, which I keep thinking is full, but then I find a tiny plot of blank space somewhere and, well, you know.
2.) Little red iPod.
3.) Bigger red cell phone.
4.) Gym clothes (boyfriend's boxers, best friend's running shoes)
5.) Deodorant (for the GYM!)
6.) 4-pack of AA batteries I keep meaning to put in my camera.
7.) Cleat from my late father's boat.
8.) Revlon Illuminance Creme Shadow Quad in Pink Petals
9.) 5 pens
10.) 2 lighters
11.) Ratty pack of Dunhills.
12.) Red plastic wallet I got at a place in Toronto called Honest Ed's. It cost a dollar! The best thing about it is it came with a little address book that listed the zip codes of major Indian cities on its back page.
13.) US passport, because I live in Canada and my Mass ID has proven unpopular.
14.) Revlon lipstick in Icy Violet.
15.) Cover-up.
16.) Unopened pack of fancy pants gum (which has been here for weeks).
17.) Physician's Formula Plump Palette – Reds.
18.) Ruined bandaid.
19.) Receipts from art store, booze store, Honest Ed's (they have EVERYTHING).
20.) Maybelline mascara.
21.) Dentally disadvantaged jaw clip.
22.) "Hard Times."