Quantcast

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

19

Nice, "A Porno Based on Taylor Swift and Kanye West Is Being Considered"

I mean, a porno based on anything is theoretically being considered, somewhere, but "Vivid is definitely considering the situation between Taylor and Kanye for a movie," according to a Vivid exec.

OK, how about this: Kanye interrupts Taylor's acceptance speech at the VMAs, but then Taylor starts to cry, so Kanye's like "Oh my god, I'm so sorry," and he starts to cry too, and he hugs her, and the hug lasts a really long time and their faces just sort of inch closer to one another until their foreheads are pressed together and they're breathing in unison, sharing a space, feeling each other's warmth, and then they kiss.

Softly and tentatively at first, but then with mounting vehemence, and then eventually Kanye picks Taylor up and she wraps her legs around his waist like that still from The Notebook. They make out in this way for about 20 minutes, and then Kanye carries Taylor over to a different area of the stage, lays her down on the floor, takes off her gown, and goes down on her. (Well!) And it's all very sweet, and Taylor starts to cry again, silently, happily, and then the curtain falls super, super slowly as a man with a flute emerges from backstage to play a haunting, erotic song. The camera then zooms back and pans over the audience, at which point we see everyone in the audience is also in tears.

FIN.



19 Comments / Post A Comment

allifer

"at which point we see everyone in the audience is also in tears" and also going down on each other.

FIN.

Liz Colville

"They make out in this way for about 20 minutes"?? FAST FORWARD TO GOOD PART, OF WHICH THERE IS NONE.

Andrew Ti

If an event, any event, happens, and no one considers making a porn out of it, did it really occur?

David Cho

This is a good example of what girls think porn is like.

Bittersweet

Yes, aren't there men playing plaintive melodies on flutes in every porn video?

Edith Zimmerman

It is truly a window into the mind of the human woman.

David Cho

Really though, if you think about it, that's what the entire website is.

PBandJ

Aw, if all porn was like this men would really be better at sex.

Andrea Rosen

Or better at the flute.

Patrick M

I can't be the only person who switches to a James Galway playlist when he reads this site.

mouthalmighty

Well that's certainly better than what I was imagining. (Which was, for the curious, some horrible King Kong-type shit because, you know. YOU KNOW.)

George Krzewski

this time he lets her finish...

HelloTitty

You win. (Or does Taylor?)

TheCheese

The best part is that David Lynch had them do everything backwards.

Tulletilsynet

Taking notes, boys?

permafrost

LOL but I'd also like to see a version of this porn with the roles of Taylor and Kanye reversed.

emily

Kanye is really good at giving other people seminal moments in their lives. First his comment provided Bush with the worst moment in his presidency and then he makes everyone in the world love Taylor Swift.

Patrick M

When the camera cuts to the audience at the end, maybe there could be a slow zoom to George Bush in one of the seats making a "not too shabby" face.

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account