Nice, “A Porno Based on Taylor Swift and Kanye West Is Being Considered”

I mean, a porno based on anything is theoretically being considered, somewhere, but “Vivid is definitely considering the situation between Taylor and Kanye for a movie,” according to a Vivid exec.

OK, how about this: Kanye interrupts Taylor’s acceptance speech at the VMAs, but then Taylor starts to cry, so Kanye’s like “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” and he starts to cry too, and he hugs her, and the hug lasts a really long time and their faces just sort of inch closer to one another until their foreheads are pressed together and they’re breathing in unison, sharing a space, feeling each other’s warmth, and then they kiss.

Softly and tentatively at first, but then with mounting vehemence, and then eventually Kanye picks Taylor up and she wraps her legs around his waist like that still from The Notebook. They make out in this way for about 20 minutes, and then Kanye carries Taylor over to a different area of the stage, lays her down on the floor, takes off her gown, and goes down on her. (Well!) And it’s all very sweet, and Taylor starts to cry again, silently, happily, and then the curtain falls super, super slowly as a man with a flute emerges from backstage to play a haunting, erotic song. The camera then zooms back and pans over the audience, at which point we see everyone in the audience is also in tears.

FIN.

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