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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

17

Find Your Thing, and Hurry

"A woman who has her own thing going on is so sexy." Damn. Do I have a thing? I need a thing. Is a computer a thing?



17 Comments / Post A Comment

Lucy

"I’m completely ecstatic when a woman has own back story" :( :( :( ! ! ! !

Liz Colville

UGHHH THIS HUMAN. What if he met a woman with amnesia who was really "sexy," sexy because she had her own thing going on, that thing being amnesia?

PBandJ

Haha! Also, he has this whole bit about women and deal breakers and one of them is yellow teeth and he goes on and on about yellow teeth-- for some reason this made me hate him uncontrollably, and my teeth are fine.

Liz Colville

He's very scary looking (and sounding). I feel like if he just used my shoulder as an arm rest I would be crushed and die.

someofmybestfriends

I feel like if he just used my shoulder as an arm rest I would stomp on his foot and spray him with mace. He has a total aura of creeper.

MollyculeTheory

"Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke. And even if it bombs heinously, we’ll still love it. In fact, you almost don’t want the joke to work. That way we want to come to your aid and make you feel better by buying you a drink."

Kay, so the next time I am on the dating scene Imma walk up to some badly-aging frat guy and say "Why did the rooster cross the road? Because the Federal Reserve issued an alert that the threat level was turquoise. Get it? Turquoise? Can I have a drink now?"

Multiphasic

We really want to come to your aid, so maybe just have an open wound? Or two! Not three, though. Around three, we'll start wondering, "Jesus, what's with this chick and all the wounds?"

someofmybestfriends

Well Jesus had three wounds, didn't he? What if your wounds are, like, stigmata? And that's your thing that you've got going on?

Kneetoe

Don't hate on him he's just trying like mad to keep things exciting and you ladies ARE NOT HELPING.

zidaane

"Also, one girlfriend got me an amazing oil drip pan to catch the fluids dripping off me."

Bittersweet

But...but...what if my guy doesn't like chocolate and he's crying? Should I still give him chocolate?

On behalf of Boston, let me apologize for unleashing this guy on an unsuspecting world.

Bonnie Downing

Her own "thing," Dane Cook? It's clear that "thing" equals penis.

Pow Cow

What a fucking faggot. No guy in his right mind thinks like this fucking faggot retard. http://manhood101.com <--the cure to dane cook's fucking faggotry.

A.R. Chrisman

I think you forgot to use the word "faggot" enough times.

someofmybestfriends

I think that if you say it enough times, Dane Cook will appear in your mirror. Or something.

A.R. Chrisman

Women always need advice on dating. You guys have no clue what you're doing.

emily

You may think, ‘He already has so much on your mind, I don’t want to burden him'.
I would never think that about you, Dane Cook. (I'd be LOLing at all your funny funny jokes so I wouldn't have the time.)

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