Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Are You Ready for Some Fun? Women in Their 30s List Their Biggest Regrets

Oh jeez. Lemondrop asked the editor of the book Secret Regrets: What If You Had Another Chance? (and the proprietor of the website Secret Regrets) to round up two dozen regretful responses from women — specifically, women in their 30s. So he did, and it's definitely not the most uplifting read. For instance:

I regret getting so comfortable in my marriage (which ultimately failed) that I let myself go and now, as a single mom pushing 40 and 300lbs, nobody wants me and I'm facing a life utterly alone and lonely with no way to change it. — Female, 38

If I had a second chance to do ONE thing differently in my life, I would not have put my job before my family because it gave my husband a reason to have an affair and I totally understand it now. Not that it makes it right, I just understand that he wasn't the only person to blame. — Female, 38
I regret that because of the pain you have caused me, because you can't be anything but selfish, because you are continuing the affair and denying it, that because of all of those reasons, I'm going to wreck myself and have an affair just to hurt you. That because I feel like an outsider in our marriage, someone who is ugly and not worth love, I'm going to seek attention elsewhere. I don't regret the hurt I'm going to cause to you, but I will regret that all my morals are disappearing in my desperate need to feel loved. By anyone. I regret that I'm not going to be the same honest, faithful person I was, because of you. — Female, 35

Like I said, lots of laughs. There are a couple fun ones, though, like:

I regret encouraging you to move to my neighborhood. Truth is, your husband is incredibly hot and if you did move here, I think I could get him to cheat on you with me. I don't want to test that though. Please stay where you are. — Female, 30

Wait, nope, that's not actually fun at all. Man. Anyway. I'm gonna go walk around for a sec.

36 Comments / Post A Comment


I regret not making out with the German exchange student at my 20th reunion, after he told me he had a crush on me in highschool because I "always gave him the hardtimes." Especially since after I got back, my partner told me he would have been totally fine with it.

Edith Zimmerman

This is more like it.


Hand to God, I thought this said on Twitter "Women in the 30s list their biggest regrets" and that this was going to be some sort of retro-y piece about corsets and tapeworms and possibly the Weimar Republic.

I could not be more disappoint.

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

You're not referring to just one '30s? Did I just explain the obvious joke? Help?!


I would totally read a book of women's regrets about the Weimar Republic. I'm not sure what that says about me.


The older I get the more marriage & kids look like a giant speeding bullet I dodged. I'll discuss this with my other hipster spinster friends over some booze later. I do wish I double majored in college though.

Edith Zimmerman

Hipstimpster? Spinstipster? Nah. Anyway.

Tuna Suprise

Maybe Spipters?

I'm with you though, I really wish I had done a semester abroad in college.


Broken Hipster?


Or maybe just Replaced Hipsters.


Hipster Replacements?


Every one of these regrets has to do with men? My biggest regret is not ordering a second Portuguese chicken sandwich in Montreal last June.

Caitlin Podiak

My biggest regret is choosing Spanish over French in 7th grade.


Same! I don't even wish I knew French or anything (because, uh, Dios knows I don't know Spanish) but I just want to know how to incorrectly sprinkle delightful/pretentious French phrases into my everyday life.


I regret not buying more stuff that one time I got to go to a Balenciaga sample sale when I was 24


I regret not mixing myself a cocktail before reading that link


Anyone know how I can get in touch the 35 year old?


Hey hey hey ladies with regrets, watch this, I will solve your problems realllly quick: 1) Try to lose weight, you are not dead yet; 2) Okay, that's fine; 3) It's okay to get a divorce, dude. Not necessary to let someone cheat on you for the rest of your life, we live now not 'then'; 4) Ha, I like you.

Slava Sakhnenko

Honestly.. You're 38? That's about the half-point of life these days, let's not be writing things off so easy, lazy-daisies...

Katie Walsh

Well if this isn't a cure for single ladies Wedding Fever, I don't know what is!

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

Someone should remind them that It Gets Better.


I totally don't regret that this led me to the 5 star Amazon reviews of this book, see eg. "Kevin Hansen does a great job compiling the entries so you have a variety of regrets."


I feel like salt in a vagina after reading those SEKRITS.

Bonnie Downing

This reminds me of once at the DUMBO art festival there was an installation in which people wrote their darkest secrets on scraps on paper and slipped them in a box. Then girls in a storefront window pasted all the secrets up so everyone standing outside could read them.
So many said things like, “I wish I had never had a second child. I love my daughter much more than my son.”
Or: “When my wife and I get home from this art festival, I am going to tell her I never loved her and am leaving her.”

Yeah, much like PostSecret, except you got to stand there knowing one of the parents with kids standing next to you wrote that...

Edith Zimmerman

Why am I laughing so hard at this?! I don't know! That is so sad and horrible, but also fuck people! If that's how you feel, don't fucking write it on some garbage secret for some shitty art project. Be an adult. Man, fuck everyone. Not you, Bonnie. Never you!

Bonnie Downing

Fuck you, too. Now I can go write about this very incident on the other thread.

Russell Brandom

I blame this on the editor. He should have found women with sexier regrets. There are still lady spies, right?


I regret passing up the chance to make out with a Harlem Globetrotter. Well I guess technically he was a Washington General, but still, sigh.



I regret doing all those puzzles for 20 years and framing them afterwards and even putting the puzzle sealer stuff on them. I guess i expected that something would happen after i finished them, or that after finishing over 30 1000 piece puzzles i would reach some state of hyper-awareness and transcend into enlightenment. now i just have a lot of cityscapes and kitten portraits and garden-views that look more fragmented than i would like them to.


@hallithbates you'll probably never read this, but I read your comment and thought it was so moving that I would put it into lines and stanzas and see if I couldn't make it into a poem. It does make a very beautiful poem. This is 100% your words. If you aren't already writing poetry I'd consider starting! :-)

I regret doing all those puzzles
for twenty years
and framing them afterwards
and even putting
the puzzle sealer stuff on them.
I guess I expected
that something would happen
after I finished them, or that
after finishing over thirty
one-thousand piece puzzles
I would reach some state
of hyper-awareness
and transcend
into enlightenment.

Now I just have a lot of cityscapes
and kitten portraits
and garden-views
that look more fragmented
than I would like them to.


cheer up, ladies! at least you never put sugar in your veejay! I mean, you didn't, did you?

Jesii Dobrusky

i regret not taking the [drunken] take home chef home when i had the chance. always wonder what he would have made for breakfast, since clearly i would have demanded that. mmmm french toast.

Alpine Joe

I regret getting back together with my ex after breaking up with him. We kept doing the merry-go-round and I ended up doing a lot of shit I regret. I wish I'd just told him to fuck off after I broke it off the first time.

So it goes.

Feminist Killjoy

WOAH, depressing. But most of the ones listed in the article aren't even regrets, they're just complaints about their lives. amiright?


Is it bitchy that I don't feel bad AT all for Lady #3? And that I totally understand why her partner would cheat on her? If someone insisted on being this much of a martyr in our relationship, I'd cheat on them too.

Well, no, I wouldn't. But I'd leave them.

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