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A Woman Composed Of Borderlands: An Interview With Daisy Hernández

“There’s a reason the Polish, Irish, French and Dutch ‘went white,’ right? It bought them a place in a power structure. But those aren’t the stories they told their grandkids and great-great grandkids. So, now instead of saying, ‘My great grandparents made a decision to come here and pass as white to get land and schools and jobs,’ people say: ‘Oh, I’m just white’ or ‘I’m American.’”

How Do I Stop Liking Someone?

Okay, in my experience, there are two key ways to stop liking someone (if there are more, I trust that the comments will inform us!). The first — avoiding him at all costs until the feelings go away and/or you like someone new — is out for you, so this is when we go to Plan B.

Playing House, Cutting Ties, and Being Alone

His inability to find a job in the last few years makes marriage impossible, but it also makes breaking up difficult. For one thing, he’d have to find a new place to live. He currently pays half of my mortgage, which is much cheaper than the rent on any decent apartment he’d be able to find. Plus, he’s always (sort of?) joking that I’m the only thing that makes him happy. Throwing him out would devastate him, emotionally and financially.

I Tried to Adopt a Cat

She eyed me suspiciously — she was somewhere between 30 and 60 years old, had butt-length brown hair, and was in worn-out overalls. “Do you already have a cat at home?” she responded. “No, this will be our first!” I gave a chipper, cat-loving smile, one I hoped read ‘happy’ instead of ‘hoarder.’ “I’m sorry, then. You can’t adopt any one of these cats. You can only adopt them in pairs. Otherwise, it’s inhumane. Are you willing to do that?”

Ask a Clean Person: ‘Pits, Revisited

The whole problem is that I seriously sweat a lot (A LOT!) and I’m allergic to the active ingredient in most antiperspirants. So I use deodorant and don’t get smelly, but I can barely wear woven button-ups or nice blouses with sleeves because I sweat through them. I’ve heard tell of the dress shields of old but have never seen them for sale. I’ve asked my dermatologist and there’s not really a medical solution, since I happen to be madly allergic to the only effective antiperspirant known to humanity.

I Love TV

When we first moved in together, we decided to give up television and begin an experimental year of culture and activities, a year that would theoretically be filled with painting, harpsichord, and hiking in linen tunics.

On Adding or Keeping Distances

Moms, friends, guys: How far away should we keep them from ourselves?

How Do You Walk In Heels Like A Lady?

Also, how does one figure out what color tights/nylons/stockings/what have you to wear with what?

The Cult I Almost Joined

C told me about a group that she attends every Saturday evening. It’s a group of young women, just like me, burnt out on life, searching for meaning. They talk about their problems and they celebrate their successes. There’s a man that runs the group. He used to be a writer, and then he found that his true calling was helping women find their potential. He was an inspiration, which of course was her word.

That Girl Is Poison: A Brief, Incomplete History of Female Poisoners

Compared to other methods for murder, 39.5% of poisoners being female is fairly high – from 2006 to 2010, women represented 21% of arson cases, and only 7.9% of gun murders. There are still many more female arsonists and shooters because those are more popular crimes—in the sample years there were only 49 poisonings total—but it’s still notable.

How To Clean A Weed Pipe

Also jacuzzi jets and shoe polish stains, but let’s be honest, you’re here about the weed pipe.

My “Intro To Feminism” Diary

I spent a ridiculous amount of time analyzing “rape culture” in “pop” culture, to the point where I pretty convincingly argued that a McDonald’s Milkshake commercial was objectifying the importance of mother’s milk.

Why Won’t My Guy Complain About Me?

My fiancé (dating three years, engaged eight months, living together two years) never complains about me to me. Not ever. He’s never once asked me to change my behavior in any way. I’ve mentioned this to him before, and he doesn’t really have an explanation. I’ve mentioned that it worries me, and he says it shouldn’t. What to do?

Safe Sexting: Some Tips for Doing It Right

Sexy pictures don’t have to be so literal! Why not send an erotic representation of your nudity, like two pepperonis or a particularly vaginal flower?

Scandals of Classic Hollywood: The Long Suicide of Montgomery Clift

Montgomery Clift had the most earnest of faces: big, pleading eyes, a set jaw, and a side part that reminds you of old pictures of your granddad. Onscreen and off, he was what the kids these days would call “an emo” and the least generous of your friends would call a “sad sack.” If he lived in the ‘90s, he would have been king of the heartfelt mixtape. Clift played the desperate, the drunken, and the deceived, and along with Brando and Dean, heralded a new direction in cinematic masculinity. But a car crash in the prime of his career left him in constant pain, and he drank himself to an early death. The trajectory of his life was as tragic as any of his films. But for 12 years, he set Hollywood aflame.

The Best Time I Went Home With Someone I Didn’t Realize Was So Young

The next morning, I rolled over and realized that something was a bit off. I snuck out of bed, grabbed my phone, and texted my trouble-making friend from the previous evening: There is a child in my apartment. In the harsh light of day, it was quite apparent that my bed-fellow was nowhere near my own age.

New Game Alert! Depression or Unemployment?

Having recently found myself involuntarily jobless, I had a lot of time on my hands. And I discovered that I was filling that time in new and unusual ways that made me ask questions like, “hey, is this something a depressed person does? Or is this just unemployment?” So I created a game, because obviously.

Schoolhouse Rock, the Foundation of This Country

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT AN INTERJECTION IS WITHOUT SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK?????? I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW ELSE YOU’D REMEMBER WITHOUT SAYING “IN-TER-JECTION! SHOWS EXCITEMENT! OR EMOTION! It’s generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point, or by a comma when the feeling’s not as strong!!” like who are you some sort of genius?

Reading Between the Texts: The Other Side

“What message do you want to send? Are you trying to play it cool like you don’t really care that much, unless he cares a lot? Or are you like, trying to be sexy and forward?”

How do I explain feminism to my boyfriend without alienating him?

Also, how do I make a breakup work and how bad should I feel about being the cheat-ee?